Some Do's for Chinese Culture from Class Submissions

So here's a list of some of the do's for China that one of the groups submitted last semester. I'll put some selected points in gold, and then in italics I'll add my comments (in the default color I can't remember).

When invited to someone's house, explain at length if you cannot go.
This is a very useful guideline, but now we could use some guidance about what 'at length' means and what kinds of explanations are acceptable.

Always take your shoes off when entering a Chinese home.
Good. Now we need to know what kinds of little micro-ettiquette is involved here. Must you wear socks? What if your feet stink? Are slippers provided? If so, is it rude to decline the guest slippers? How do you get out of your shoes and what do you do with them? In Japan there is a step up from the doorway, called the genkan. You can slip out of your shoes (and this is why it is not a good idea to wear laced shoes pretty much anywhere ever) and leave them pointing in and then the host/ess will later point them out for you so they're easy to get back into. I'm getting a little rusty on this, but the point is that there are details you need to know about. Is it ok to put your bare feet on their floor?

Always use an acquaintance's title and surname until invited to do otherwise.
Several questions. How do you know when an invitation is authentic and when it is a test? This makes me sound more cynical than I am (maybe) but new acquaintances from another culture are going to be trying to figure you out by your interactions. If they invite you to use first name and you just jump on that invitation without any reservation, you may be demonstrating that you do not understand the subtle and indirect nuances that are probably very important to them.

If the Chinese are trying to be polite to you by deferring to your custom of using first name, and you take that at face value (ironic pun acknowledged), you are demonstrating that you are willing to have them accommodate you without accommodating them in return. You may not get far in that relationship. You'll gain trust and respect if you defer, in most cases, to the other's culture as long and as often as possible. Better relationships, better business. But you need to have your informant consider these things very carefully and give his opinion of declining an offer to circumvent a Chinese interactional norm. Basically, given the general arrogance of Americans at large, every little bit that you offer in the way of acknowledging the preferences and the values of your Chinese interactants will be greatly appreciated and you'll get on swimmingly. (: You probably cannot go overboard in trying to accommodate their customs rather than assuming they will accommodate yours. Even if you're a jerk and don't care about respecting the other person, you should do this for the sake of good business.

When meeting the Chinese, greet the eldest person first as a sign of respect.
1) How do you know who is the eldest? 2) What if the eldest is a woman? 3) What kind of greeting are we talking about? Is there a bow? A formulaic phrase? Eye contact norms? 4) Do you then need to go around the room and greet each of the other participants in order of their age? I'm not trying to be goofy here, this is a real possibility.

Beckon someone or summon attention by turning your palm down and waving your fingers towards yourself. Excellent and very important.