You'll Laugh, You'll Cry

You'll kiss 800 bucks goodbye, but they'll be some of the most well spent 800 bucks of your whole education.

In this class you will learn:

How to make people feel like crap
Or, how you already make people feel like crap
How to make people feel like a rockstar
Or how you already do so.

All kinds of dangerous gestures to make in other cultures.

How to decide what to call your mother in law.

Alternatives to the dead fish handshake.

How to pick up a guy at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris

How expletives are pure poetry-really! I'm not even being metaphorical!

You'll learn how we are all "two-faced" but in a different way than the expressions suggests. . .

That your significant other is really an alien from another world culture altogether even though they seem to be speaking the 'same' language (e.g., English). Once you get a handle on 'their' culture, you'll have way fewer fights (although fights are good, which you will also learn).

What’s controversial about using ma’am.

Why your roommate's way of talking makes you homicidal.
Why yours makes her homicidal.

How to persuade the French that you are not just another arrogant monolingual American.

What women really mean when they ask if you're hungry (lots of women).

How to ruin the diplomatic relations between your country and another in the first five minutes of your time together.

What it really means to say that the Americans showed bad "form" when they arrived at the airport in Beijing wearing black face masks.

Whether modern cosmetic surgery is capable of fixing the 'ugly American.'

How to make eyes at the speaker and get a turn.

What women's 'intuition' really is.

How to really piss off a blind person.

What the tricky part about the Golden Rule is.

How to avoid making an idiot of yourself because you thought someone was inexcusably rude to you who was really trying to be nice to you . . .

The pros and cons of using a squat toilet in Japan. . .

What they really mean when they say, Nihongo o jozu desune?

How to use perfectly sanitized, "sanctified," allegedly dyed in the blood of the Lamb church lady English to cut somebody's heart into little bitty pieces and make hamburger of it.

How that quaint expression a smile is the same in any language is a big crock o' crap.

The surprising virtues of "f'ing English" (sometimes confused with 'French')